May 2012 #2: No, Do-It-Yourself Fireworks Aren’t on the Lesson Plan
1. Welcome to the latest edition of the Summary of Mishaps, another chapter in our ongoing saga of situational awareness (loss of), common sense (lack of), and complacency (no lack of).
A. A private was taking the land-navigation part of the infantry rifleman course when he came across an unexploded artillery simulator. He’d been given the unexploded-ordnance brief, the one that says to keep your cotton-picking fingers off of any that you find. Alas, he must not have been paying attention, because this brief apparently just whetted his appetite to find out why. He lit the flash powder in the simulator. It functioned as advertised. At least he was wearing his protective goggles, so he was able to look in a mirror and say, “Oh, so that’s why you aren’t supposed to play with unexploded ordnance.” He had scorched his face to the tune of four lost days of work and three weeks of light duty.
Y’know what would be nice? If personnel who are taking the land-navigation course would concentrate on land navigation. If do-it-yourself fireworks were part of the curriculum, they’d issue some, along with instructions and PPE.
B. A civilian in Virginia fell in a parking lot while walking to her car to get something that she’d forgotten. She “believes she stumbled,” the report said. “A worker nearby said he saw her fall and she appeared to stumble,” the report added.
Got it, she stumbled. But I still have to ask, as opposed to what? Being knocked down by an invisible force field?
C. Time for another Friday Funnies quiz, a chance to exercise your experience, common sense and/or cynicism. The star of this quiz, the mishap report said, “was consuming alcohol in the barracks in a third-deck room.” He “leaned out the window.” What do you think happened?
And we thought balconies were bad enough.
D. A WG-10 worker at a Navy training command was attending something dear to our hearts here at the Naval Safety Center. The report described it as a “20-minute safety campaign training class.” Alas, his absorption of this valuable knowledge was interrupted because his back started to hurt.
Like everyone, I’ve been to a boatload of safety training during my career. It hasn’t always been particularly stimulating. Often, truth be told, I found it to be (how shall I put this) “relaxing.” But it was never physically painful.
Perhaps (the report suggested) the reason for the worker’s back pain was that he was wearing tennis shoes, was standing on a hard surface, and had injured his back the previous August. “Chairs were available,” the report added.
There’s nothing quite like a casualty during safety training to brighten up a safety officer’s day.
2. That's all for this week, amigos. Until we meet again, be careful out there, and if someone asks whether you read the label, the recommended answers are either “Yes” or “No, I’ll read it right now.” The answer isn’t “Label? I don’t need no stinkin’ label.”
May 2012 #1: Our First Ever Mysteries and Oddities Issue
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