March 2013 #5: Calling All Blade Wielders
1. Welcome to the latest edition of the Summary of Mishaps. Today’s question: Do you carry around a pocket knife? Maybe wear a multi-tool on your belt at work? Does your job require you to use a box cutter or utility knife for various tasks?
If so, please take out your personal or professional cutting tool and set it by your monitor. It will serve as a nice visual reference as you peruse the following misadventures. I have just extracted three knives from my desk: a beat-up, 2.5-inch Buck knife that I found while running, an 11-blade multi-tool that I got at a conference, and a little knife that we once handed out as geedunk to publicize one of our magazines (not to worry, we doled out adhesive-bandage dispensers along with them).
All set? Here we go.
A. Scar recipient number one was a seaman apprentice on a cruiser. He was using his knife to cut what the report described as “rubber material” in an office. The blade snagged. He pushed harder. Then the knife slipped and he found himself slicing flesh material (namely, his hand). Six days of light duty to figure out how to get some leather gloves to wear next time.
B. Scar recipient number two was a civilian electronics technician in Virginia who, the report said, “cut his thumb with a pocket knife while repairing office equipment.”
I’m always skeptical of those “repairs” that require a knife.
C. Scar recipient number three was an aviation electronics technician second class in his car at a red light outside a hangar in Florida. He started to clean his fingernails with his pocket knife. The light turned green. He accelerated and dropped his knife into his lap, where it promptly sliced open his thigh. One week of light duty to buy himself a fingernail clipper and/or a nail brush.
D. Scar recipient number four was a corporal who was at home, doing some maintenance on his motorcycle. The task at hand was to trim a rubber grommet. He held his utility knife in his right hand and the part in his left. When his wife asked him a question, he turned to answer and sliced open his palm to the tune of six stitches.
I hope the question wasn’t, “Honey, don’t you think you should be wearing gloves?”
E. Scar recipient number five was a yeoman second class who was shopping at a navy exchange. He selected a knife, which slid out of its package and severed a tendon on his finger.
2. I’d wrap up this week’s issue by proclaiming, “Knives are dangerous!” but I think everyone has gotten the point by now. See you next time.