1. Welcome to the latest edition of the Friday Funnies, in which we once again offer you a chance to disprove the notion that experience is something you don't get until right after you need it.
A. In California, an E-5 aviation ordnanceman was working out as part of his command PT. His routine that day was a sparring session with the heavy bag. He pummeled it until he felt his right pinky pop. Then he called it a day and went back to work. When he awoke the next morning, his finger was swollen, so he went to a clinic and confirmed that his finger was broken.
“According to the service member, this is the third time he has done this to his hand while boxing,” the report said. Y’know how they say, “If at first you don’t succeed…”? This isn’t what they mean.
B. An E-5 on a carrier was replacing the quick-release pin on a jettison locker. When he removed the pin, the lid closed and clanged him on the top of his head, inflicting a gash that required six staples.
Whoa, didn’t see that one coming!
C. In Maryland, a civilian food-service worker was getting ready to use a chef’s knife. Note that he hadn’t actually started to use it yet, he was just preparing to.
Attentive readers have noticed that we regularly run items about Sailors and Marines who are using knives. Also borrowing, carrying and playing with knives. Some are actually using knives to cut stuff (line, plastic, fruit, vegetables, pizza, and so forth). But this civilian hadn’t even started to use it. He had to sharpen it first. That’s when he sliced open his thumb.
D. And speaking of having a mishap en route to where you would more logically expect a mishap, an E-6 in Hawaii was playing softball. At bat, he laced a one-hopper to the third baseman who bobbled the ball (I made that stuff up, mishap reports tend to be weak on colorful play-by-play) before winging it to first. The E-6 hustled down the base path. It looked like it was going to be close. “In preparation to diving into first base,” the report continued, the E-6 stepped in a small hole and tore a ligament to his knee.
Tweeet! Time out! Diving into first? I refuse to believe that maneuver gets you there a millisecond earlier. I’ll give him a pass if he was trying to avoid a collision, but even in that case, the verb should have been “slide,” not “dive.”
2. That’s all for this week, sports fans. Catch you on the rebound.